My Last Meal

11 Feb

I have a great fascination for serial killers, I’ve mentioned this before.  And when these killers get caught, I’m even more fascinated by what they ordered as their last meal.  Timothy McVeigh ordered 2 pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream.  John Wayne Gacy, a former manager of a KFC, ordered KFC.  Robert Madden requested his meal be given to a homeless person.  The state denied his request.  The female serial killer Aileen Wuornos denied her last meal.   It’s fascinating to know what people will order for their ultimate final meal so I asked around.

Me: What would be your last meal?
Nibs:  Mushroom and sausage pizza with beer.
Me: What would be your crime?
Nibs:  Killing  you in self defense after I hook up with your sister at your wedding.

Me: What would be your last meal?
Cellmate:  Fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, stuffing, soul food (P.S. Cellmate is hella white.)
Me: What would be your crime?
Cellmate: Bathing two babies in the same tub, it’s illegal in Los Angeles.
Me: You won’t get death row for that.
Cellmate: I gotta get death row?
Me: Yes, final meal!
Cellmate: Ok. Rape and murder of my arresting officer because I want to clean those babies.

Me: What would be your last meal?
Papi Chula: Vag.
Me: What would be your crime?
Papi Chula: Killing co-worker.  (I think he’s talking about me because I told him that I was born in Texas and his response was, “evil dragons are not born, they are hatched!!”)

My last meal would be raw crab.  It sounds disgusting but it’s my favorite dish that my mom makes.  The raw crab is not raw but it’s brined in soy sauce, ginger, garlic, and other spices for days.  The brining process actually cooks the crab just like how ceviche is “cooked” in lime juice.  Once the brining process is over, my mom makes a special sauce with red pepper, green onions, sesame seed oil, a little bit of rice vinegar, and other spices.  The final product looks like this.

I love the fleshy parts of the spicy crab.

This dish is so salty, spicy, and sweet.  It’s really the best dish my mom makes.  I could eat this everyday, and this would definitely be my last meal.  Man, my mouth is watering.  So much saliva.  My crime?  My crime would be torturing and killing Bubby for doin’ me wrong.  Let’s hope he doesn’t.

What would be your last meal?
Discuss as I sit here on the jungle gym with my fro and hot pink jelly shoes drinking my chianti.


One Response to “My Last Meal”


  1. Maui, Hawaii Part 2 « Meat and Confer - March 15, 2012

    […] Because there was so much to eat and so little time, we went to Foodland –the best grocery store in the land.  While Kroger (I call every grocery store Kroger) sells rotisserie chickens, Foodland sells spam musubi, ahi poke, and my favorite, spicy raw crab!. […]

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